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DUMB AND DUMBER
 
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2AND2.WAV Lloyd: "Why ya goin' to the airport...flyin' somewhere?"  
Mary: "How'd you guess?"  
Lloyd: "Well, I saw your luggage and when I saw the airline ticket I put two and two together."
26kb
ANNOY.WAV Lloyd: "Hey, wanna hear the most annoying sound in the world?"  
[SHRIEK]
24.5kb
ASPEN.WAV Lloyd: "So where ya headed?"  
Mary: "Aspen."  
Lloyd: "Mmm...California, beautiful."
16.9kb
AT10.WAV Harry: "...why would she have you meet her in a bar at ten in the morning?"  
Lloyd: "I just figured she was a raging alcoholic."
25.2kb
BET.WAV Lloyd: "I bet you 20 bucks I can get ya gambling before the end of the day."  
Harry: "No way."  
Lloyd: "I'll give you 3 to 1 odds..."
52.7kb
BOOZIN.WAV Motorcycle Cop: "You fellas been doin' a bit of boozin' have ya...suckin' back on Grandpa's old cough medicine?" 12.8kb
BONEHER.WAV Lloyd: "First time I set eyes on Mary Swanson I just got that old fashioned romantic feeling; where I'd do anything to bone her." 21.7kb
BREEDING.WAV Harry: "I've even bred them."  
Mary: "Oh yeah, any unusual breeding?"  
Harry: "No mostly just doggy style."
12.5kb
BULLSHIT.WAV Harry: "One time we successfully mated a bulldog with a shitzu."  
Mary: "Really, that's weird."  
Harry: "Yeah, we called it a bullshit [SILLY LAUGH]"
34.4kb
BUTT.WAV Harry: "Holy geez, look at the butt on that!"  
Lloyd: "Yeeah...he must workout."
16.1kb
DEADBIRD.WAV Harry: "You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?!" 7.51kb
DIAREAH.WAV Harry having a bowel movement  
(this one's disgusting folks)
64.6kb
FRENCH.WAV Harry: "Where are we gonna go...?"  
Lloyd: "...I'm talking about a little place called Assspen."  
Harry: "I dunno Lloyd, the French are assholes."
49.6kb
FUNBAGS.WAV Harry: "Go look at the fun bags on that hose hound..." 24.7kb
HEADSOFF.WAV Lloyd: "We got no food, we got no jobs...our pets heads are fallin' off!!!" 13kb
HOOTERS.WAV Harry: "Nice set of hooters ya got there."  
Mary: "I beg your pardon?"  
Harry: "The owls...they're beautiful."
17.9kb
HOT.WAV Lloyd and Harry after eating an atomic pepper 81.6kb
KUNGFU.WAV Lloyd's unique martial arts style 58kb
PETEDIED.WAV Harry: "My parakeet Petey...he's dead."  
Lloyd: "Oh I'm sorry, what happened?"  
Harry: "His head fell off!"
40kb
PULLOVER.WAV Motorcycle Cop: "Pullover!"  
Harry: "No, it's a cardigan but thanks for noticin'."
13.3kb
ROBBED.WAV Lloyd: "I got robbed by a sweet old lady on a motorized cart...and I didn't even see it comin'!" 15.8kb
SAMPSNTE.WAV Harry: "What's her last name, I'll look it up."  
Lloyd: "Ahh...you know I don't really recall..."  
Harry: "...maybe it's on the briefcase, look on the--."  
Lloyd: "OH YEAH! It's right here...Sampsonite..."
63.6kb
SENIORS.WAV Lloyd: "Hey...I guess they're right...senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel can still serve a purpose." 20.2kb
SKIS.WAV Harry: "Skis huh?"  
Lady: "That's right."  
Harry: "Great...they yours?"  
Lady: "Uh huh."  
Harry: "Both of them?"
35.1kb
SOUP.WAV Lloyd: "What is the soup de jour?"  
Waitress: "It's the soup of the day."  
Lloyd: "Mmm, that sounds good, I'll have that."
17.4kb
YOURIT.WAV Lloyd and Harry playing a game of "you're it" 52.7kb
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